BEDMINSTER, New Jersey (The Borowitz Report)—Blasting his former colleague Omarosa Manigault, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that "the White House is no place for a lying lowlife from a reality show."

"People were impressed by Omarosa because they saw her on a TV show," Trump told reporters from his golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey. "Well, I've got news for you: being on a reality show does not qualify you to work in the government."

Explaining why he considered her a "lowlife," Trump said, "She's rude, abrasive, and offensive. Having someone like that in the White House is an embarrassment to our country."

But worst of all, Trump said, was Omarosa's lying, which he called "constant."

"She can't go a day without lying, and what's more, she's narcissistic and paranoid," he said. "A psycho like that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the Situation Room."

Pronouncing himself pleased that Omarosa was no longer in his Administration, Trump concluded his scorching remarks by saying, "The sooner we can rid the White House of reality-show con artists, the better off the country will be."

• Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of "The 50 Funniest American Writers," and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
• This appeared on August 13, 2018.

The tapes she released

• On Sunday, Omarosa released audio from a secret recording she made in December when she was being fired by Chief of Staff John Kelly in the White House's highly-secured Situation Room. The audio was first played during her appearance on NBC's "Meet the Press" Sunday.
• Monday morning, NBC's "Today" aired an excerpt of a phone call Omarosa recorded between her and President Trump, who expressed surprise and disappointment that she got ousted from the White House. In the call, which she says came a day after she was fired, Trump said "nobody even told me about it."

I especially like the tape between her and Trump, because it was so clear he is lying.

Andy Borowitz is brilliant. Enjoy. 🎶 The best is yet to come. From her. From Cohen. Who else? #FakePotus #RealityShowPotus